June 7, 2013 Day 1 in Kenya

We slept in really late today because we were up so late picking me up from the airport.  We live in the "posh" part of town and when I walked in, I saw 12-15 cockroaches.  Some of them were about 2 inches long.  It was very disgusting.  Honestly, since that moment, I've hardly even seen another cockroach.  I think they were there to welcome me to Kenya.  I felt very welcomed... ;)

I took a shower when I woke up.  Let me set this up a little bit... In Kenya, you prepay for your electricity.  We are staying with this really nice member of the ward and she only paid for about 1 day of electricity before she left.  The boys, used up quite a bit of the electricity watching movies until 2:30 so they could come pick me up.  Anyway... I get in the shower, wash my body, wash my clothes and I'm just about to wash my hair and the water goes ice-cold.  The electricity had run out.  We spent the rest of the morning without electricity-which is fine if you're expecting that, but we weren't.  Anyway, I had a nice, "refreshing" shower this morning.  :)  It was great.

After I got ready, I read scriptures out on the balcony of our flat.  I watched about 14 Kenyan men who were working construction (I use the word working very loosely) just sitting in the shade the whole time I was outside.  Most of the buildings around us are under construction.  Also, they build almost everything out of bricks.  They make their cement and hand place the bricks.  The measurements are only approximate so everything is a little bit crooked.  While I sat out there, I could hear a man somewhere in the distance singing a really beautiful melody.  I wish I could have written it down.  I wish I could have seen who was singing it and ask him about the song.  Hopefully, I will be able to record some really great songs out in the bush.

When we were all ready, we left the flat to eat lunch.  We went to this tiny, one-room restaurant.  Nathaniel ordered the pilaou for all of us.  It's goat meat with rice, veggies, and a small soup on the side.  It was ok.  the veggies were great, but apparently you need to be careful eating them.  The other four men in the room were watching a Kenyan soap opera with terrible music.  Terrible music.  Anyway, that happened.

We left there and got some sugar cane.  I LOVE sugarcane!  Yum!  It is the nectar of the gods.  Wow.  :)  Very refreshing if you get a good one. We chewed the cane while we walked about 30-40 minutes to get to the orphanage.  

There were only four girls at the orphanage when we first arrived. They were finishing up their homework.  They are so cute!!  They alternated between being shy and being very outgoing.  It was so fun.  We asked them if they wanted to read with us and they did.  When we asked them to choose a book, one girl chose two books - The Book of Mormon, and another book (that I don't remember).  The girl Jake was going to read with, chose the hymnbook.  They sat down and started singing.  I quickly joined them.  All she wanted to do was sing the hymns.  They LOVE the hymns!  We sang for about 45 minutes.  I learned later that the owner is LDS.  When she started the orphanage, the children asked her what church she went to and they decided to go to that church as well.  They have scriptures and a devotional every night with prayers, reading from The Book of Mormon and singing hymns.  3 of the kids were baptized last week.  

After we sang with the children, we started playing volleyball with their flat soccer ball.  We went outside and played in the weeds and then I taught them a singing game I teach my students back home.  We played that for a little while and then the kids wanted to play hide n' seek. Every time I hid, I had about four little orphans vying for my hands.  I held their sweet little hands!  It was so fun!  I taught them how to play sardines after that, but one little girl that was supposed to hide didn't quite understand she was supposed to stay put.  :)  She hid everywhere so no one could find her.  I taught them another song game I teach my kids.  It's actually an African rock game so we played it with the rocks.  They learned it MUCH faster than my students back at home.  It was SO fun!  They taught me a rock game after that.  I have some of that stuff on tape and I'll show you that when we get home.

One of the girls ran to us while we were hiding and said the missionaries wanted to say hello so we went back inside.  The missionaries were there to teach the discussions to the three kid that got baptized last week.  We sat and listened to the discussion with the kids and the spirit was strong.  These kids are happy.  They are taken care of and they are loved so much.  I can sense that they feel loved.  Honestly, they are much happier than most of my students in the US.  What these kids lack in materials, US kids lack in time, and love. It's an interesting perspective.  

After the discussion was over, it was time for devotional.  The kids led the whole thing.  When the girl came up to lead the hymn, she sang the whole first line as an example and then everyone else joined in.  They also singing different versions of the hymns where just a phrase is a tiny bit different with the notes.  Some of the changes are better than what's written in the hymn book.  They are learning the hymns aurally though so it's understandable that there are variations.  It's incredible beautiful and humbling to watch an orphanage sing the hymns of Zion with so much love and enthusiasm.  They really love the hymns.

They performed a welcome dance for me that I absolutely loved!!  I want to learn it and teach it to my students back home.  Oh my goodness!  It was So cool!!!  I have a video of that as well.  They danced for us and then brought us up to dance with them.  It was so fun!  

The missionaries walked us home after that and we had a cool discussion with them about the work in Kenya.  We might do some work with the Elders tomorrow morning.  We shall see.  If we don't, we will be at the orphanage all day with the kids again.  I asked them to help me learn their songs and they were excited.  Hopefully, I'll get some really good stuff recorded tomorrow.

Well, I love you all!!!!  This is an amazing time and I'm learning a lot.  :)  I'm also slowly learning Swahili... ha.  

I Am a Child of God

A couple days ago, I was at my sisters' house and I was watching her 6-month-old little boy. I wrapped him up in a blanket and turned the lights off to help him calm down before I put him in his crib. He started wailing! At that point, I held him, sang a couple lullabies and hoped he would begin to fall asleep. He did not. He really wanted his Mom. I started singing "I Am a Child of God."

"I am a child of God
and He has sent me here.
Has given me an earthly home,
with parents kind and dear.

Lead me, guide me, walked beside me.
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do,
to live with Him someday."

As I started to sing the second verse, I began to tear up.

"I am a child of God,
and so my needs are great.
Help me to understand His words,
before it grows too late."

Here I am, holding this beautiful little boy. I was doing everything I could to help him feel loved and important. His needs are great. I am only his aunt, yet, I have every desire to help him with whatever needs he has. How much more does our Heavenly Father want to bless him? And in turn, bless each of us?

I am a child of God, and so my needs are great. I am grateful for a Father in Heaven who knows and understands my great needs and is always so willing to help, and love me.

The Danger in My Rearview Mirror

Several weeks ago, I was driving on the freeway a distance that took about 45 minutes to drive. About 20 minutes from my destination, I noticed a truck following me very closely. Not only was this truck following me, but this truck also had its' brights on. I changed lanes and then became frustrated because the truck changed into the same lane behind me! The truck followed me for about 10 minutes with its' brights on. I started glaring into my rearview mirror at the truck (that always works ;) ). Because the brights were on and I was glaring so intently, when I turned to look back at the road, I could no longer see. I was blinded by what was going on behind me. In fact, it took my eyes several seconds to be able to see what was going on in front of me again.

I thought about that experience and realized that Heavenly Father was teaching me a valuable lesson. And with a new year approaching, I feel it is important to explore that lesson in a little more detail.

I believe that Father in Heaven was teaching me not to focus on the annoyances that are in my past. In fact, I think that's the point , they are in the past. They are behind me. I am on the road, in a car that is leaving those things behind. They are not current for me. They are behind me.

When we make the past our focus, instead of the future, it indicates a lack of faith. As Elder Holland said, "I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives." So yes, look back and learn, and then be done! When we have faith, we look forward and we let go of what is behind us. We let go of things people have done to hurt us-whether intentional or unintentional. We let go of relationships when it is time to let go. We let go of our own mistakes. We let go of anything that keeps us from moving forward and becoming.

The Apostle, Paul, said, "This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14)."

It is time to let go of the things that are keeping us from safely moving forward. Do not be blinded by what is behind you. Look forward, stay safe, and live in faith.

"Look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future." Elder Holland

"I forgive you"

I'm walking around my music class. There is Handel's Water Music playing softly in the background and all my 6th graders are sitting quietly, writing thank you notes to the presenter we had this week. I turn around because I hear a commotion. Two of my boys are literally choking each other in anger. I separate them and ask them to go to opposite sides of the room and calm down until we can talk after school. One of the boys is crying and the other boy sits defiantly, but his chin quivers slightly.

After school I talked to them. I asked them what happened. "He called me a b-word!" "He started choking me!" They kept interrupting each other until I calmly asked them to tell me what happened one at a time. Both boys were tearing up at this point. Once they both told me their sides of the story, I asked them to apologize. They were both able to say "I'm sorry" quite easily. When I asked them to say, "I forgive you", it was a different story. It took them both about a minute of hemming and hawing before they would say, "I forgive you" to each other. I asked them to look at each other when they did it. They both teared up when that happened and I could tell they were being sincere. I talked to them about how important people are and how we should never treat someone they way they treated each other today. We talked about new options for when this kind of situation arises next time. I hope they can still be friends after today.

This made me think of a couple of things. The first is that I think we are taught to say I'm sorry. When we are little we are told to apologize when we hurt someone. It's so important to apologize when we have hurt or offended someone else. I don't think, however, that we are taught to forgive. How many parents say, "Say you're sorry" to one child and then that's the end of it? Everything is all right because the wrong-doer apologized. The wronged child doesn't know what to do with that apology. Some kids will say, "It's ok". But the words, "I forgive you" are extremely powerful. They are saying, "I am consciously letting go of the pain and hurt you caused me so that you and I are both free."

Katherine Piderman said, "Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life."

Honestly, I feel like the words, "I'm sorry" free only one person in the equation (and that's the wrong-doer). For both parties to be free from whatever action was taken, the wrong-doer needs to apologize so he/she is free from guilt and the wronged needs to forgive so he/she is free from anger and resentment.

The other thing it made me think about was how sad I was that my students would treat each other like that-regardless of the offense. I was heartbroken that they were so angry with each other and would take actions like they would kill each other. I really love my kids. I love them so so much. When I had the discussion with them about how important every person is, I almost teared up. It helped me in a very small degree understand how sad Heavenly Father is when we are unkind and unforgiving to our brothers and sisters. Every person is so important and so loved. It doesn't matter the offense, every person is important and is a child of God.

I guess what I took from today was 1) to teach my children how to forgive, and 2) understand that every person is a child of God and He is sad when we treat each other unkindly.

"Forgiveness means that problems of the past no longer dictate our destinies, and we can focus on the future with God’s love in our hearts." ~Elder David E. Sorenson

Success... to me.

I am officially a music teacher. Honestly, when someone asks me what I do, I have a little bit of pride when I tell them that I am a music teacher. There is something very honorable in the profession of a music teacher. And, it took me a really long time to become one. :)

I have now been teaching for about two months and I have a few stories to share that fill me with joy and have taught me some important lessons.

The first day of Kindergarten, the children followed after me in a line while I sang to them and we formed a circle and all sat down. I went around the circle and looked each child in the eyes and through a song, asked them to sing their name for me. There was one boy especially that looked completely terrified when I sang to him. When the time came for him to sing back, he burst into tears. He began talking in Spanish and asking for different people. All I could do was give him a hug and tell him "esta bien". I didn't know what he was saying and I didn't know how to communicate back to him that everything was all right. In that class, he has been my worry. A couple classes later, he actually smiled while we were playing a game. I felt so good after that class! The class before this last class, I taught them a Spanish song about trains. He LOVED it! He was smiling the whole time and played the game along with everyone. He even laughed a couple times. And finally, this last class period, I decided it should be a game day where the children picked their favorite music games and we would play them as a class. He raised his hand and said "chucu" (choo choo). I was so proud of him. We played the game. He smiled at me so many times that day. What is success? I found my definition that day.

I teach six classes of special education each week. Every class has a large range of children with different disabilities. In each class period, I sing a song to each child and look them in the eyes while I hold their hand, or touch their knee, or their foot. There are some children that jerk away at my touch until I begin singing and then they calm down. There are some children that get so excited for their turn that they can't hold it in and they yell out while I am singing to the child in front of them. I have children that are completely immobile in wheelchairs and all they can do outwardly is smile or cry. It is amazing to sing to them and hold their hands and have them smile so big, it permeates the entire room. Last class period, I found another definition of success. At the end of every class with those children, I sing "Peace Like a River" with sign language. Every once in a while, a child will sing along, but usually I am singing it for them and they watch... sometimes. Last class period, almost every child in that class was trying to do the sign language and singing along with me. What a beautiful sight that was. My heart was full.

I have a first grade class that is unruly to say the least. I have been praying for that class specifically since I started teaching. I have not been able to figure out how to help several of the children. To give an example, while I was teaching one day, two boys began fighting. One of them ran up to me and said that the other one had called him a motherf_____. The other boy repeated what the first said. They both went to the principal's office. A couple class periods ago, I had a thought that I know came from my Heavenly Father. One of the boys was acting up so much that I couldn't teach the class. I asked him to come be my helper. He came and sat by me and I told him to watch for children who were being especially good and then he was supposed to write their names down on a piece of paper for his teacher when she came to pick them up. He took his task seriously. By the end of class, he had ten names down. He literally beamed when I told his teacher that he was the one who had found the names. I have more work to do with the class, but that was my definition for success that day.

I was thinking about my definition of success the other day. I was trying to determine what I want my students to get out of music class. I feel like the push is for the children to understand solfa and to know how to read rhythms. Yes, that is important. However, what I want for the children in my music class is #1 for them to feel loved and accepted, #2 to find that they can be successful at something, and #3 to learn to love music. If they don't like music, what is the point of teaching them how to read a rhythm? If they don't feel loved, why would they feel like what I have to teach is important? If they are not successful at something, they will give up on life.

THAT IS WHY I TEACH MUSIC

NOT because I expect you to major in music.

NOT because I expect you to play or sing all your life.

NOT so you can relax or have fun.

BUT- So you will be human

So you will recognize beauty

So you will be sensitive

So you will be closer to an infinite beyond this world

So you will have something to cling to

So you will have more love, more compassion, more

gentleness, more

good…in short, more life.

Of what value will it be to make a prosperous living unless you know how to live?

Author Unknown

I love being a music teacher because it helps me to be better at life. While I am teaching those children music, they are teaching me life.

Lessons I've learned from Peter

Matthew 14:24-33

24 But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.

25 And ^ain the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.

26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.

27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good ^acheer; it is I; be not afraid.

28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.

29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was ^aafraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little ^afaith, wherefore didst thou ^bdoubt?

32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.

33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

Lessons learned:

1) It was Peter's idea to walk on the water.

Peter was looking for a miracle. The Lord didn't walk on the water to test Peter. Peter walked on the water to challenge his own faith.

2) Peter didn't rely on past experiences. He only looked to the Lord.

Peter was a fisherman. He was out on the sea constantly. He knew what the sea was like when the winds were blowing. He didn't rely on his own past experience with the sea. He looked to the Lord and used Him as an example.

3) Peter had the faith necessary to actually walk on the water.

He did it! He actually walked on the water! What great faith Peter had!

4) He only began to sink when he stopped looking at the Lord.

We are all in the midst of high winds and tumultuous circumstances. We must always look to the Lord to remain afloat.

5) When Peter began to sink, the Lord immediately stretched forth His hand to lift Peter back up.

The Lord is there to help us succeed. When we don't, we need to cry for His help and He will immediately stretch forth His hand that is always there, to help us when we don't have the strength to help ourselves.

Mormon 9:11

But behold, I will show unto you a God of miracles, even the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob; and it is that same God who created the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are.

Let us be a people that look for miracles in our lives. The Lord has certainly shown us He will produce them.

Every, Every Minute

The last few days have been a bit difficult for me. I have had way more things to be grateful for than I had to be upset about but I was upset. I did not focus on the positive. I wallowed in my bad mood. I had happy moments - don't get me wrong. I was just having a hard time choosing to be happy. Today was another day where I was upset.

I was tired when I woke up this morning so I didn't want to go to school. My ride to Salt Lake was late picking me up. There was traffic on the freeway. I was tired in class, so it was all I could do to just write down the bare minimum of what the professor was talking about. I left my backpack in the class after it was over so I had to go back to get it. On top of all of that, on the way to get the car registered, it ran out of gas. This is the second time in three weeks my ride's car ran out of gas! At least this time it wasn't on the freeway. I got out and ran and pushed. The owner of the vehicle also got out and ran and pushed while he steered the car. Three gentlemen ran up and helped us push the car about a mile down the road. I tell you what, if you need a good workout... push a car while running for about a mile. It tears your lungs apart! That's exactly what it did. When we finally got gas in the car, the owner couldn't hold in whatever he had for breakfast and I followed suit about ten minutes later. I took the owner home to his apartment so he could rest while I took his car and went to class. The key got stuck in the ignition. I could NOT get the key out. I was so frustrated. I ended up leaving the keys in the ignition while I went in for class.

That's when my whole outlook changed. Today was devotional day in Concert Choir. I sat back, arms folded, ready for anything.. ha. Her devotional was on finding joy in the journey. It was based off of President Monson's talk with the same title. The first story she told was this, "Some of you may be familiar with Thornton Wilder’s classic drama Our Town. If you are, you will remember the town of Grover’s Corners, where the story takes place. In the play Emily Webb dies in childbirth, and we read of the lonely grief of her young husband, George, left with their four-year-old son. Emily does not wish to rest in peace; she wants to experience again the joys of her life. She is granted the privilege of returning to earth and reliving her 12th birthday. At first it is exciting to be young again, but the excitement wears off quickly. The day holds no joy now that Emily knows what is in store for the future. It is unbearably painful to realize how unaware she had been of the meaning and wonder of life while she was alive. Before returning to her resting place, Emily laments, “Do … human beings ever realize life while they live it—every, every minute?”

It definitely helps that the main character's name is Emily. That story spoke right to my heart. I have been so ungrateful lately. I need to stop, relax, and experience life in the moment. After she gave that devotional, I was holding a drink in my hand during our warmup in choir. It started vibrating because of the sounds that the basses were making. It was awesome.

Let me start over with my day. This morning, I was tired because I had such a fun time laughing with my roommates last night. I have a ride to Salt Lake that takes me every week. I left my backpack in the classroom because my hands were full of a gift someone had given me in class. When we got the car registered, I stopped and played with the cutest puppies I've ever seen in my life. When our car ran out of gas, three gentlemen came and pushed and ran with the owner and I. What a blessing! Today really has been an incredibly blessed day. I am so grateful for today.

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now." (President Monson)